Love and Community

Recovering Nomad – Dating and Spirituality


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Surveying spiritual techniques around the world is remarkably similar to the dating scene in New York. When I traveled across five continents, I examined a variety of techniques people use to get closer to their higher power. In creating my own spiritual path, I swiped left or right for the practices that worked for me. Never did I imagine the value of this type of discernment while dating in New York.

During my nomadic travel years, there were times when it was lonely being on the road. Forming any kind of lasting bond with someone was difficult, not least in a romantic sense, especially as I bounced from country to country, oftentimes in monastic environments that prohibited women.

While traveling, a relationship had an expiration concurrent with the date of either her or my own plane ticket, whichever came first. Now, settled in New York, each time I connect with someone I have a broader horizon than before.

There are many different ways to connect with singles in the city. Meeting in real life at a yoga class, coffee shop or on the high line has its advantages, though my shyness often prevents me from speaking up. I complement the old-school methods with dating apps – an easy way to have a coffee date to see if there’s a spark.

As a recovering nomad, the difference now is that when I meet a nice lady, if only for a coffee or a walk, the romantic me comes out to play. Being stationary gives me a license to dream – about a trip in a few months, plans to do something on the mid-term horizon, or growing old together, happily-ever-after – something difficult to do when I was in travel mode.

For now, I continue to meet people and enjoy the conversations, keeping my eyes open for a special relationship, knowing that the best things always seem to appear at the right time.

Are you single and have recently moved to a new city? How have you found the adjustment?

 


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14 Comments

  • Hi Peter, I’m enjoying your blog as I relate to your experiences. It can be very lonely on the road! Have fun dating — there are a lot of wonderful women out there looking forward to meeting a great guy like you! It almost seems easier to meet like-minded people when overseas via expat organizations… And seriously, can you believe it’s been 20 years since Mexico City?

  • “when the student is ready the teacher will appear” – I apply it to everything in my life, even love relationships. I wish you good luck!

  • Nice reading. Would catch up when I am at NY next, and would be glad to host when you are at Hyderabad anytime.

  • Of course, we have to wonder if romantic relationships are in the cards as we get closer to God. Something I think about, wonder about still… I’ve been in both situations… single and relationships. Can’t really say which I like better! 🙂

  • Loved the association dating and spirituality. I find that people are often as quick to dismiss spirituality bu the outward look of it as they are a potential dating picture. Thanks for the great insight!

  • Adjustment? If there is such an illusive thing I haven’t found it. I’m relatively new to Philadelphia and haven’t the slightest clue how to meet spiritually inclined men. My experience with dating sites has been disappointing at best. In the real.world, people are so on-the-go and plugged in, it seems difficult to connect. If you have an brilliant insights, please do keep us posted!

  • Loneliness can be soul searing. Mind you, relationships can be too. When the time is right the right person will come into your life. I’ve had one of those for over 40 years. Admittedly there are times when I yearn to be alone – but only for a while 🙂 So I am. I love the title of your blog byt the way, and that photo of feet is perfect!

  • As someone who suffers from abandonment issues I find the idea of having an expiration date scary and yet beautiful. The fear of someone like me is that they will be abandon at any moment without a warning. Going into something knowing WHEN it will end, somehow the idea puts me at ease….

  • In my case, I moved from Arizona to Oregon to sail around the world with my best friend who happens to be male so most assume that I am involved and don’t approach me (which I usually find out in conversations where they use “boyfriend” or “significant other” to describe my bestie roommate). I don’t think about dating most of the time because I am too busy doing other things like school and work and learning to sail and trying to get my passive income streams to be steady enough to live off of.

  • Nice post. I ENJOY YOUR BLOG. As for dating I too have moved from California to Florida and will be moving to NYC soon so I haven’t put too much effort and thought into dating because there probably won’t be much time for long term committment… plus I’m a bit of a romantic myself and will run off into the sunset abandoning all plans… lol so yeah! Thanks for sharing!

  • Very insightful post. I’ve been daydreaming about being a full-time nomad. But now that I’ve been away for just 2 months. I am realizing indeed how lonely it can get especially when you’re looking for meaningful connections. Wishing you happiness on your path.

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